WHO AM I?

On The Practice, it's Jimmy the Grunt. On NYPD Blue, it's the soft-spoken, stuttering Medavoy. The picked-on, exploited guy who's just as good, just as smart -- maybe a little smarter -- than everyone else. If only he were given the chance to prove himself more often. Instead, his co-workers depend on him for comic relief. He's the brunt of eveyone else's jokes. The outsider among outsiders. All he wants is a little respect. But failing that, he's still there, 24/7, just doing the job he was hired to do.

On the Cartoon Network's crown jewel Home Movies, it's the unselfconscious, book-smart Jason. Jason -- is me. That is, I might as well be him. And if we were doing a poll about the coolest dude on Cartoon Network, I'd be stuffing the ballot box day and night to help li'l Jason win. But unfortunately, the Unofficial Cartoon Network Adult Swim home page is running a poll on the coolest member of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force instead.

Okay, in that case -- It's Meatwad. Master Shake's shy, innocent, tagalong buddy Meatwad. Yes -- I am -- Meatwad. And thanks to a little source code cut-and-paste wizardry -- okay, thievery! -- you can vote in the Unoffcial Adult Swim poll right here, without even visiting that other site. (But please do visit that other site! Just don't forget to hit your Back button and finish reading Mind Over What Matters afterward.)