DOW 3600? My earlier prediction is beginning to look eerily prescient, if not quaintly optimistic.

This time, shares of Johnson & Johnson (JNJ) tumbled and dragged the rest of the market kicking and screeaming with it, after federal regulators began probing allegations of fraudulent record-keeping at a plant that makes one of the healthcare giant's best-selling medicines.

Of course, Johnson & Johnson is its own worst enemy when it tries to bury the bad news in the fine print: